off
by espioc
Summary: first fanfic.! Wally can tell that somethings not quite right with Robin, and trys to get to the bottom of it. what he finds scares him to death. SLASH, but not romancey. self-hurt. R&R please
1. Chapter 1

Authors note: Hey everybody! This is my first fanfic. So no flames, please

Warnings: this is slash, self hurt, and there might be blood but it's not graphic.

Wally and Robin sat on the Mt. Justice couch in their civvies. The two were board out of their minds. There hasn't been a mission in a week and there's really not much to do in the mountain but train and watch Television. In M'ganns case there's cooking to occupy the time, but Robin and Wally aren't really cooks in a sense. Robin sighed, and looked up at the boy whose lap he is currently sitting in.

"I am so not feelin' the aster"

He said a twinge of annoyance in his voice. Wally thought for a moment, then looked around before turning back to Rob with a confused smile.

"If that's a way of saying you're board then you might want to make that more clear"

Said the young speedster with a chuckle. Rob crossed his arms and checked the time.

"I have to leave"

He said getting off of Wally's lap. They gave each other a quick peck on the lips before Robin started towards the exit. Before he could leave, though, Wally grabbed his wrist and was about to ask a question. The question was delayed when he noticed that Robin had pulled away quickly; panic crossing his features for a moment.

"something wrong?"

He asked, concern clear in his voice. Rob just smiled weakly.

"no, nothing, just my natural reaction, you know ,a flinch. It was just a surprise that's all"

"oh, okay then"

Wally didn't know weather or not to believe the younger boy, but decided not to dwell on it.

"so what's up?"

Robin asked snapping Wally out of his currant train of thought.

"what? Oh right, I was wondering if you wanted to hangout tomorrow; ya know play some video games or something"

"Sorry I can't, I got school, then a mathletes meeting, then I think I have to go to some Charity ball thing, and who knows maybe we'll get a mission. Sorry, I'm booked, maybe next week"

The boy gave a weak wave wile exiting the living area.

Wally let out a breath that he didn't even realize he had been holding in. M'gann Walked to the arm of the couch stirring something that will probably turn into cookies; or at least be the shape of cookies.

"Is there something wrong with Robin, he seems kind of…down"

Asked the Martian looking back at the exit.

Wally leaned back and put his arms behind his head.

"Yeah, he kind of did, didn't he. I'm sure he's just under a lot of pressure, between school, activities, and being Robin it can put a lot of pressure on a person. I'm sure we'll have our cackling Robin back in no time"

M'gann, being reassured by this answer, smiled and went back in the kitchen.

Wally leaned forward with a sigh, not as convinced with his answer as he wanted to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Next chapter: be prepared this is where the angst starts

Warnings: self hurt, and non-graphic rape

Disclaimer: well its kind of in the word, but yeah, i dont own anything

* * *

Dick exited the phone booth and quickly made his way to Wayne Manor. He was greeted almost instantly by Alfred who was making dinner in the kitchen

"Good evening Master Dick, dinner will be ready soon"

He said, then turning back to what he was doing

"hey Alfred, is Bruce going to join us this time"

"Actually, yes, surprisingly he has nothing to attend to this evening and will be joining you"

"oh, well that's good"

They stood there for a moment in awkward silence before Dick said that he was heading to his room and to just call when it was time for dinner.

Dick flopped onto his bed with a sigh. Bruce hadn't joined them for dinner in a little more then a week. Sure he was happy that Bruce would be there but there was something bothering him. Something he's been keeping from Bruce that he knows he shouldn't, so things just feel…wrong.

Crawling off of his bed he made his way to the bathroom and looked in the mirror; examining the scars across his neck from the last fight with Joker. One in particular always seemed like a smack in the face. A horrible reminder of what that man did to him, or at least, almost did.

_In was a regular night in Gotham, the rain fell hard as Batman_

_and Robin went roof to roof patrolling the city; looking for anything out of place. _

_There were a few robberies, easily taken care of, and one attempted shooting, again, stopped . The night actually seemed without much incident, for once._

_Of course, though, a peaceful night doesn't exist in Gotham, and the dynamic duo soon found themselves fighting against the , all too familiar, Joker._

_The man laughed wildly as they stood in the dim lit warehouse. The man would have been easily defeated, if it weren't for the fact that he had captured Robin first, and had already begun to torture him, as he usually did. Batman had to come up with a plan quickly, but not much came to mind. Joker had already disarmed both he and the boy wonder, and held them at bay._

_Robin was restrained on an exam table wile Batman lay dazed, tied agents a support beam. This would be easily escaped had it on been for the fear gas inhaled earlier._

_Yes Scarecrow was In on this too. The two villains decided to put two great minds together. They were going to cause an explosion releasing both fear gas and laughing gas, in the police department and several other buildings._

_Despite the Gas Batman still fought against his restraints. Joker, noticing this, walked over and bent down to him. A smile painted clearly on his face._

_"so, Batsy, what do you think of your little birdie now, look at him, look at how weak he is. How can anyone be proud of a thing like_

_that" _

_The man laughed again_

_"I'm sure that you're going to just_

_love what I'm going to do next. Enjoy the show, Batman!" _

_The crazed man made his way back to the table Robin was tied to. Robin was already a bloodied mess, a large gash on his stomach was oozing the crimson liquid , wile a gash on his arm and thigh were just stopping._

_Joker bent down and whispered in the boys ear_

"_I know my little birdie wants to cry, I'm here to make sure that happens"_

_With a swift movement the front of Robins tunic was split down the also left a pretty bad gash down his stomach. Joker caressed the bare chest with his glove hand._

_Robin knew what was to come, and tried to mentally prepare himself, but everything seemed to happen so fast. Before he knew it Jokers hand got lower and a disgusted feeling washed over the Boy Wonder. Smiling lips sucked on his neck. Robin tried to fight it, but the man just laughed._

_"come now, boy Blunder, you know you cant resist me…it's not like you've never been through this before with the bat…I'm just here to make it_

_feel better"_

_Then he went into another fit of laughter, before continuing to violate the boy. He had been touching him for a wile, and was about to take it further when the Bat stepped in with a sudden punch to the jaw. He cut the restraints, scooped up Robin and ran out of the warehouse, not even bothering to beat the clown further._

_Robin was placed in the bat mobile, and they drove to the cave. Turns out that the bombs were easily found, and already taken care of . The priority ,now, was Robin._

_Batman laid the boy down on one of the medical tables. Robin hadn't realized it, but tears were silently streaming down his face. Alfred, who had entered the cave upon their arrival, whipped the tears away and started dressing his wounds._

_"what happened, sir"_

_He asked Bruce when he was finished._

_"later, Alfred, right now we need to let Dick rest"_

That was that, none of them really have spoken about that incident.

Dick examined the scar again, which was actually a hickie, left by the Joker, the only one, but still a bad reminder. The boy rubbed his forehead, before reaching in the drawer and pulling out a small razor blade, and going back into his room.

Sitting at his desk he put the blade to his skin, and swiped it across slowly, making sure to absorb every inch of the pain as possible. He leaned his head back. The sensation only lasted a few seconds, though, so he did it again.

This had been going on for about two months now, even before that last encounter with Joker, but the cutting just increased after that.

After a few more cuts Dick washed, and put the blade away. He cleaned his wounds and made sure they were hidden with his sleeve before going downstairs for dinner. Bruce was already seated.

They ate diner with no conversation between them, it was just a comfortable silence. When Dick finished he excused himself and went back to his room where he laid on the bed and was asleep almost instantly.

* * *

Sorry if it's boring, but, hey, I'm trying R&R please, thanks

.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm baaaack, with a new chapter, obviously, or you wouldn't be reading this.

sorry if the characters seem a little OOC tell me if they do an I will do my best to change it!

Warnings: None, I think, other then slash KF/Rob but only if you don't like that stuff.

Disclaimer: I have no claim, the characters simply aren't mine.

On with the show!

* * *

"Hey Rob, I thought we were going to hang out this week"

KF complained as he sat on the couch next to Robin who was fiddling with his glove computer.

"sorry, KF I've been, uh, busy"

Robin said with a little flinch at the sudden sound of Wally's voice. Concern crossed Wally features at Robins sudden skittishness. The, usually, calm and collected bird had become more skittish, even flinching away, sometimes, at his touch.

"Babe, are you okay you've been acting…different, lately"

Said the speedster scooting closer to his boyfriend, putting his hand on the back of his neck and squeezing gently. The smaller boy squirmed under his touch, and turned off the computer.

"I'm fine, just, uh, under some pressure, you know the usual deal"

Wally studied the boy quickly, trying to be discrete, but failing miserably. Robin noticed the boys prying eyes, his hand instinctively went to cover his neck. Although the hickie is covered by his cape, Robin thought it better to be safe then sorry. 'what would Wally think of me' he thought with disdain 'I was violated by the Joker, now I'm just…Disgusting' Rob was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed Wally trying to take a peak under his collar.

"Wally!"

He yelled pushing the older boy away

"Rob just tell me what's wrong!"

"there is nothing wrong, KF, now just leave me alone!"

Wally was taken back by the request. Did Robin really mean that; did he really want him to leave him alone. He was hurt, in a way. Robin had scooted to the opposite side of the couch, arms crossed over his body, as he leaned over.

Wally slowly got up and went to the other side of the couch. He sat next to the small boy and wrapped his arm around him. Silent tears streaked down Robins face. He tried to hide them but his mask allowed the water access to his cheeks.

Wally rubbed comforting circles around Robins back, a common action.

"please, Dick, Just tell me what's wrong…I just want to help"

"Really, Wally, I'm fine. I-I'm, sorry that I've been acting this way…I just, I dunno, like I said probably just pressure, finally taking it's toll on me"

The young boy joked, with a weak laugh and smile. Wally sighed, not wanting to pry, Robin would tell him when he's ready.

"what about Batman"

The speedster asked suddenly.

"what do you mean?"

"well, if your under so much pressure, then why don't you tell the big bad bat and maybe he'll loosen up for a day or two"

Robin scoffed and leaned back into his boyfriends arm

"yeah right, ask the bat to loosen up, you must be joking"

Wally smiled as Dick leaned into his touch.

"I think a break would be good for you, Robin"

The cheery voice of M'gann chimed in

"maybe we could all use a break"

She bumped her forehead with her palm

"hello Megan, we can all go to the beach again, that's always fun, and we aren't doing anything now"

Wally looked from Martian to bird

"is it even still daylight out still, and what about the rest of the team, where are they?"

"Well Conner's just training, and I think Kaulder's here somewhere, Artemis is in her room, and I'm right here, come on this'll be fun!"

Wally smiled up at M'gann

"well then what are we waiting for, the day's still young, I think, what time is it?"

Robin checked the time "It's 4:00, bu-" he couldn't finish his sentence before the speedster rushed away and came back with beach stuff. "Guys we can't go to the beach" Robin started "what if Batman has a mission for us"

"Come on, Rob, we had a mission just two days ago"

"yeah, so, that doesn't mean we can't have a mission today"

Robin doubted that they would have a mission, but going to the beach means putting on swim trunks, that leaves a lot of skin showing, including bare arms, and Boy wonder didn't feel like showing off his little "bad Habit" to his boyfriend and the rest of the team. It would also leave him with a clear neck and very clear scars showing. There's no doubt that they would ask questions. Robin rubbed his arms at the thought of it all. He popped back into reality when Wally's voice rang in his ears.

"so, Rob you coming"

He hadn't realized it, but the entire team had gathered in the living room. Kaulder stepped to the front of the group.

"I believe that a day at the beach would be good for the team, if you will accompany us, Robin"

With a sigh, he lifted himself from the couch. "alright fine, Just give me a minute to get ready"

He made his way to the room he occupied in the Mountain, collected his things, put on his swim suit and then looked in the mirror for a moment. He took a deep breath before fishing a razor out of his bathroom drawer, sitting on the toilet and setting the blade to travel across his skin. The relief came for a moment but then quickly depleted into regret after the third cut. He cleaned his wound and the blade thoroughly before covering up his scars and wounds with concealer that he kept in the Mountain, just incase there was something he didn't want Batman to see.

* * *

The ebony haired boy rushed back to the team, and they headed out.

The sun was low in the sky but it was a beautiful day, still, the water shining, sand glowing , it did seem like a perfect day to go to the beach. The group set up towels and two umbrellas. They splashed around in the water, Robin being careful not to get his wrists soaked in worry that his concealer might rub off. Sadly bandages cant be hidden with concealer, and Alfred had ordered him to keep them on for a month or the deep wounds could get infected. Lucky for Robin nobody asked about his mummified waist, arm and leg, they had gotten used to the youngest member arriving at the cave looking like that, most likely after a night dealing with the Joker, it was nothing new.

After a quick little cook out and a very unfair game of vollyball the team relaxed and laid on their towels. Wally wrapped his arm around Robin as they laid side by side.

"see, I told you a day at the beach would be fun, so, are you feeling any better?"

Robin shrugged

"a little, I guess"

Wally studied the boys bandages

"he really did a number on you this time, didn't he…is that why you've been so skittish lately?"

Robin just shrugged again "yeah, maybe, I don't know I've had it worse" he turned away and checked the time, "7:30" he announced getting up "I should head home" .

Wally grabbed his wrist before he got too far away. This time it was a test to see how the boy would react, he'd come up with a question to ask, though; so that he didn't seem suspicious. Again, Robin pulled away quickly, with a panic stricken face.

"what is it?"

He asked quickly. Wally held back a sigh and quickly improvised a question.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out this weekend, if you're not busy"

Robin took Wally's hand, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

"maybe, I think I'm busy, but I'll try"

They gave each other another peck on the lips then Robin scurried away. Wally let out the sigh that he had been holding in.

"_so do you think Robin is feeling any better" _

M'ganns voice rang in his mind

"_I cant really tell" _

Replied Wally, sounding concerned

"_you're his boyfriend, shouldn't you be paying attention to this stuff" _asked Artemis, crossing her arms.

"_hey, it's a lot harder to get through to that kid then you think" _Wally through his hands in the air

"_and why are we talking with physic link, it's not like he can hear us!" _

_"he would've been able to before, he probably can't now, but this just seems easier"_

M'gann answered. Superboy crossed his arms in front of his chest

"_why cant you just simply ask him what's wrong, instead of dragging all of us into this" _

The speedster gestured the rest of the team

_"you all choose this; you wanted to get involved, I didn't drag you into anything . And I have asked him what's wrong, he keeps lying that it's just pressure"_

"_maybe it is just pressure"_

Wally mentally sighed

"_you don't know him like I do, supey, believe me, this is more then just pressure" _

After another half hour they went back to the cave and departed back to their homes.

* * *

Third chapter finished! Finally, I think this is the only almost decent chapter I've written so far in this, oh well that's just me putting myself down, don't mind me and i know i kind of just coppied what they did at the beach from that one episode, i'm asking for no flames but i wont be devistated. R&R PLEASE! J


	4. Chapter 4

Hi every body! Thanks for the reviews Malaizjan Dejesus, Amira Wayne, and Monkiimax Your incite is greatly appreciated!

Warnings: self-harm ,mentions of child rape, and depressing thoughts

On with the chapter, four!

* * *

Robin got dressed and rushed back to Wayne Manor, relieved that no one had noticed the scars. He thought back to what Wally had said

"_he really did a number on you this time, didn't he" _

All Dick could think about the statement was 'you have no idea'

Dick scurried into the Manor, Alfred greeted him, he gave a quick wave in response before heading up to his room. He let out a deep breath wile sliding to the floor, back against the door. The ebony haired boy looked down at his wrists, old cuts and new emerging from his skin, the number seemed to grow and grow, like a weed that you cant just pick out and through away. Dick was ashamed of his secret, this little "bad Habit" of his.

'I should tell someone' he thought getting up from in front of the door, and heading to the bed

'no, I cant…what would they think of me…they'd think I'm just, weak"

He turned over on the bed and looked out the window

'and Bruce…what would he say, he'd probably just get mad, the guys really good at that'

He abandoned the bed, and headed to the bathroom. After examining himself in the mirror his hand drifted to the drawer under the sink and removed a razor blade.

'they'd all think I'm pathetic…I wouldn't be surprised if they already do'

Tears started to stream down his face 'Wally' he thought, tears falling faster at the familiar name 'Wally would think I'm disgusting if he ever heard that Joker had done to me… he'd never want to touch me after that'

Dick didn't want to lose those people, the people he held so dear, Wally, Bruce, Alfred, the team, they were the only people he had.

Without even realizing it, he had made six cuts, each one being deeper then the other, the last one, as well as the deepest, was bleeding down his arm and onto his elbow, another one on the other side of his wrist bled onto the crease of his elbow.

Instinctively, Dick made his way to the bathroom, leaving a thin trail of blood behind him as he went. He took a quick shower to clear his head and clean his wounds.

When he got out of the bathroom is when he noticed the clear stained blood on his dark green carpet, leading to his bed; where a half dry blood stain ran through the sheets. Dick sighed and mentally slapped himself 'how could I not notice that'

He made his way to the bed, examining the stains along the way seeing if they were totally dry; they were, and despite the dark carpet they were very obvious. The larger stain on the bed was like a slap in the face, it had a very clear scent as well.

There was no way Dick could let Alfred see this, he had no real excuse for something like this. Alfred would undoubtedly figure out what was going on; weather he would tell Bruce or not was the problem. To be completely honest Dick would much rather have Alfred find out about this "bad Habit" then Bruce any day.

After a little wile of considering his options; Dick was surprised when Alfred called him down for dinner. It was a bit late, almost nine, so Dick naturally assumed that he had missed diner when he was at the beach. Alfred wouldn't have been very happy about that.

He made his way downstairs, and into the dining room where Bruce sat, full plate of food in front of him.

"a little late don't you think, Alfred?"

Commented Dick trying his hardest to smile, it wasn't sincere but he managed. Alfred made a noise that seemed like a sigh.

"Yes, but Master Bruce insisted that I wait until he returned to join us"

Dick looked at Bruce, a little surprised that he asked for Alfred to wait. Bruce never minded missing diner; he assumed that Dick didn't mind either, he was wrong, but Dick never let it show.

"A little early, don't you think, Bruce?"

He asked hesitantly. It was silent for a wile until Bruce said, in his usual, flat, monotone voice;

"I thought you would like it; me being here"

There was no emotion, no looking up at Dick, no smile, just the statement. Despite it's lack of care Dick still liked it, it was…nice? He wasn't quite sure. He unknowingly let a smile cross his face then went back to pushing around his food. Sure Dick was hungry, it had been at least four hours since he lat ate, it hadn't been that much, but that was around diner time. Even though his stomach growled screaming for just a little something, he refused to let his fork carry food to his mouth.

Bruce looked over at the boy with an almost concerned face

"Dick"

He said, a statement more then a question. Dick looked up from his food.

"yeah?"

"are you alright? you haven't eaten anything yet."

"yeah, I'm fine, I'm just not that hungry; ate a little something earlier"

Of course right after that his stomach decided to growl angrily. Disk sunk back in his seat a little, avoiding Bruce's accusing eyes.

"well you certainly don't sound like it"

He said starring down the small boy, who was obviously trying to come up with a better excuse for not eating.

"okay, well, apparently my body just got very confused"

He said giving a sheepish smile, trying to lighten the mood.

It wasn't working very well, Bruce's eyes narrowed, he'd heard from Alfred that Dick hadn't eaten much in a few days, and both men were beginning to get concerned over the boy.

It was obvious in Bruce's eyes that he wanted an explanation. Dick sighed, and put his fork down. 'now or never' he thought. Bruce didn't realize it, but Dick was a little bit more affected by what Joker did to him then he thought.

"you know our run in with Joker a few weeks ago?"

Bruce instantly knew what he was talking about, concern deepened in his face. He'd seen what Joker had done to him, the image was clear in his mind. Dick didn't know, didn't realize, how far Joker had really gotten, he was too traumatized by the horrible mans hands touching him. By the time Batman had managed to get free Robins tights were down to his ankles, and the man had gone very far in violating the young boy so much damage had already been done; he couldn't stop it, and so Bruce felt guilty. He tried to shake the disturbing thoughts away. Dick continued.

"I know it's not the worst thing that can happen to me; I mean there are other people who have it worse, and I've already been through so much. I'm just being, weak, letting this affect me, I mean I was trained by you, something like this is just…pitiful"

Bruce was taken back by the words coming out of Dicks mouth. He put his hand on the much smaller one.

"Dick, if you're upset, or…traumatized, then you have every right to feel this way."

"no, I don't, I'm just being weak, complaining about something like this"

"you are not complaining, you're talking about it. You were…"

Bruce didn't know what word to use, Molested, Raped, Sexually assaulted, all of them didn't seem right to bring up to the boy. When he found his voice again, he continued.

"what Joker did to you was horrible, and wrong, and any feelings you may be having towards what happened to you are completely natural, you are not being weak"

He was trying to be sincere and stern at the same time to get his point across without hurting the boys self-esteem.

"it was absolutely my fault!"

The boy snapped.

"if I hadn't gotten captured first, then you wouldn't have been defeated and we would have been out of there sooner, it never would have happened!"

"Dick calm down, lets just talk, there's no need for yelling"

Bruce may not be good with feelings, and reading people in certain situations, but he does want to try to help his ward.

"what do you feel towards the situation, what makes you think that what happened to you was your fault"

Dick scoffed

"yeah, like you're good with feelings, what will telling you that do…"

They sat there in awkward silence for a wile, Dick growing more, and more anxious, he wanted to talk to Bruce, but telling him what's really on his mind will be hard. After a few more minutes of silence, Dick spoke.

"I'm disgusting"

He said, it was barely audible, but Bruce heard it. His face grew to something that looked like shock, confusion and sincerity wrapped into one.

"Dick"

He tried to put his hand on his shoulder, but the small boy pulled away quickly and sunk back in his chair. Arms folded in front of him, biting his lip, he looked like he was trying to wrap himself in a ball without bringing his knees up. Silent tears ran down his face, despite his protests.

"may I be excused"

He said quietly. Bruce sighed, he wanted to talk about this more, but forcing the hurt boy to talk probably wouldn't be the wisest decision.

"yes…" he started slowly "you may be excused"

Dick nodded, and headed upstairs to his room. His head still lowered, arms still folded, and tears still streaming.

He removed the blood stained sheets from the bed, got into his pajamas, and cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Finished, finally this took me two days to write, I didn't think my wording sounded right so I read it, like, six times over. Sorry if the end is depressing. There's more to come though!

..


	5. Chapter 5

Fifth chapter, already, I probably won't be updating till the third, I'm going on a trip and I doubt I'll have access to the internet.

Warnings: the usual, self-harm, slash, depressing thoughts, you know the deal

Disclaimer: you know I own nothing

* * *

The next morning was excruciating. Dicks wrist was soar, his throat hurt from crying, and he was starving. When he got downstairs Alfred was cooking breakfast, wile Bruce sat at the table reading a news paper.

"how do you feel today"

The man asked suddenly, as Dick sat down next to him.

"better, I guess"

"I went to check on you last night, what were those stains on the carpet"

Dick stiffened 'no' he thought 'he couldn't have seen those, he can't find out he can't ' on the outside he managed to keep a cool, calm face. Wile on the inside he was screaming at the top of his thoughts.

"Dick"

Bruce pressed, looking for an answer.

"I…was…um, eating, drinking…grape juice, and I spilled it…a little"

"you know not to eat in your room"

"I…know, I just…forgot for a minute"

Bruce didn't believe the boy, but decided against prying.

They ate breakfast in silence. Well, Bruce ate and Dick just pushed his food around. He asked to be excused after twenty minutes.

"where are you going?"

Asked Bruce.

"I think I'm going to the mountain, it is a Saturday…do you think we're going to have a mission today"

"probably not, but something may come up so be prepared"

With a stiff nod, he headed out the door and headed to the old phone booth labeled "out of order"

* * *

Recognize Robin B Zero-One

The woman's voice announced at his arrival. Instantly a smiling, redhead speedster was at his side wrapping his arm around him.

"hey Rob"

He greeted happily. Robin tried his best to return the smile, to no prevail.

"you alright, Rob you look down"

"yeah I'm fine"

Of course Wally didn't believe him, but, like many other times he decided not to pry. Suddenly Robins stomach growled.

"you hungry, M'gann's making breakfast. If you want any…didn't you eat breakfast, though?"

"um, yeah, so I'm not hungry"

His stomach growled again in protest.

"you sure, you sure sound like you are, come on she made a lot"

Wally grabbed his hand and dragged him to the kitchen where the team was sitting and eating breakfast. Robin was a little surprised to see the whole team there.

"why are we all here?"

He asked sitting down at the counter next to Wally, who gave him a quick good morning kiss, then went back to eating.

"I thought that it might be good team building"

Said M'gann cheerfully, handing a plate full of food to Robin. Complete with eggs, bacon, fried potatoes. Two small pancakes and some fruit. The food made his stomach churn. Wile everyone else ate their food, Dick, as usual, just pushed it around, taking a few bites when M'gann and Wally shot him a concerned look.

"you okay, Rob, you haven't anything on your plate"

To be honest, Robin was getting tired of people asking him this. He knew that he wasn't fine, but it was still annoying that everyone kept asking. Most the time they asked when he was eating, or…not. 'so what if I'm not eating' he thought 'it's not a big deal'

"Rob?"

Wally interrupted his thoughts, and put a hand on his back.

"you alright?"

Robin frowned

"Why does everyone keep asking me that…you, Bruce, M'gann, I'm not deaf you know I can hear you talking about me!"

"Rob, why are you freaking out, we ask if you're alright because we're concerned"

"why! I already told you I'm fine!"

He ran out of the room. Everyone looked at each other, shocked mixed with concerned faces.

"what was that about?"

Asked Artemis, surprised that the cool bird had just stormed out of the room.

"I don't know"

Answered Wally. Connor crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"alright, well I guess this proves there's definitely something wrong with Robin"

"the question is, what are we going to do about it"

Kaulder completed. The teens thought about it for a moment then they all turned to Wally.

"What?!"

He said throwing his arms in the air

"I don't have an answer for everything that goes on with Robin"

Artemis crossed her arms

"you should be paying attention to these things, Baywatch, you are his boyfriend"

"not to mention his best friend before that"

Kaulder intervened

"we only look to you because we can trust your judgment when it comes to Robin"

Wally crossed his arms, and leaned on the counter.

"he's been like this for weeks and I can't get a word out of him. You've seen him, he just says it's stress, which, is probably a part of it, but there's more to it"

"I noticed, he had a lot of bandages on at the beach, could that have something to do with it"

Inquired M'gann. Wally thought on the subject.

"maybe, but he's faced Joker hundreds of times, you and I both know that's where he got those"

Wile M'gann was thinking, Kaulder spoke

"I know that he has had many run-ins with the Joker, in many cases he's come out looking worse then he does. He has been fine in those situations, though. I wonder what would leave him so skittish, and…depressed, now"

"I don't know"

Said Wally, worried. He looked back at the hallway Robin had exited through.

"I'm gonna go check on him"

He said, getting up and heading to Robins room.

* * *

He heard sobs, as he knocked on the door. When there was no answer he enters. The sods seem to be coming from the bathroom. Hiding in the sobs was a word, the speedster could barely make it out, but it sounded like, _disgusting, disgusting. _it made Wally's heart ach.

He approached the bathroom door, and entered without a announcement.

Wally paled, as he stared at the scene in front of him. Sitting on the floor in front of the sink, is a cowering Dick Grayson. His wrists and arms cuts multiple times, bleeding all over the floor. He sobbed uncontrollably as he put the blade to his wrist, ready to implant another mark on his skin. He hadn't even noticed Wally had entered the room. Before the blade could reach his skin, Wally grabbed his wrist. Dick looked at the boy with pleading eyes.

"Wally?"

He said in a teary voice

"what are you doing, Dick!"

Said Wally in a loud concerned voice.

"what are you thinking?"

After taking away the blade, he dug through the drawers and cupboards bellow the sink, fishing out gauze and bandages and medical tape. He started wrapping up the younger boys arm.

"why didn't you tell me, I could have helped. Whatever you're going through, you know I can help, why didn't you say anything"

Silent tears ran down Wally's face. 'how could I not notice this' he thought 'we're together all the time, I've held onto his wrist hundreds of times'

"I didn't know how…"

Dicks voice trailed off. When Wally was finished he put a hand on Dicks thin shoulder.

"have you told anyone?"

The small boy shook his head

"you need to tell Batman, you need to tell Bruce"

"no!"

Dick answered quickly

"no, I can't, he won't help, he'll just judge me, tell me I'm being weak"

"you're wrong, Dick, he wants to help you, he can help you. We need to tell Him"

"No, No, please don't tell him, Wally, he'll be mad at me"

The young boy cried, holding his boyfriends hand, as he tried to exit the room. Wally gave him a soft kiss on the forehead.

"I'm sorry"

He whispered, before helping the bird to his feet and ushering him out of the room. Dick fell to the floor, refusing to move. Wally picked him up bridal style, and despite the small boys protests Wally brought him to the living room.

Batman was standing in the living room, the group of teenage heroes asking a million questions at once, about why Robin had been so off lately.

When Robin saw the bat he instantly silenced his protests towards Wally, who put him down. Batman turned to the two boys. He Looked at Robin

"Robin, it has come to my attention that you have emotionally distraught lately…I'm taking you off the team until you have your head cleared."

Robin, as well as the rest of the team were shocked at this. Kaulder stepped up.

"Batman, are you su-"

He was silenced when Batman raised his hand

"at the moment Robin is emotionally Distraught…until he can function correctly, he's off the team, do I make myself clear?"

Everyone nodded slowly, heads lowered. Robin was very unhappy at this decision

"you've got to be kidding me!"

He yelled

"of course I'm emotionally distraught, you're not even trying to help!"

He ran out of the room again.

"Robin!"

Batman called, but he was too late, the boy was already gone. Batman walked over to Wally, who was in the kitchen, the rest of the team sat in the living room.

"Kid Flash, I want you to visit Robin later, he could use some comfort, especially now, you can probably get through to him better then I can"

And with that, Batman left, leaving Wally to wonder, about the Depressed Boy Wonder.

* * *

Hope you liked it! R&R please! Thanks


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! I'm back, I actually wrote half of this chapter on paper on the plane ride home from my trip, I went to Washington D.C. it was awesome, the plane ride home, though, was one bumpy ride the view of the clouds was amazing, so no complaints. Alright enough of my babbling.

On with the show!

Disclaimer: despite my wishing, I do not seem to own these characters

Warnings: the usual, and mentions of rape

Enjoy!

Wally fallowed Batman's orders and went to visit Robin. It was about two in the afternoon, all was well in the cave, so he decided that it was a good time to take his leave.

Wally used the Zeta- tubes to get to Gotham, then ran to the Manor and was greeted at the door by Alfred.

"ah, master Wallace, I've been expecting an appearance from you this afternoon"

"hey Alfey…where's Dick?"

"Master Dick is in his room"

Wally nodded and headed to the stairs. He stopped and turned back to Alfred.

"Hey, um, Alfred?"

He said. The older man looked back at him

"yes, Master Wallace"

"Dicks been acting a little…off, lately, kind of depressed. I'm just wondering, is- did something happen lately?"

"I'm afraid so, Master Wallace. I don't believe, though, that it is my place to tell you what it was that happened"

"that's fine, Alfred, thanks"

The man nodded, and headed off to the other room. Wally let out a sigh 'so something is up' he thought, walking up the stairs, and to Dicks room. He was about to knock, but stopped himself.

He looked both ways down the hall. After a moment of thought he abandoned Dicks door and headed down the hallway. The boys super speed landed him right in front of Bruce's study; hesitantly, he knocked

"What is it"

A monotone voice came from the inside.

"uh, it's Wally, I have a question for you"

There was a long silence.

"come in"

Said the deep voice.

"this had better be important, Wally, you know I have important work to do"

Bruce said, looking up from his work, to the red haired boy

"well, I think this is important enough…Dicks been acting a little…off, or, well, depressed, lately. When I asked Alfred he said that something had happened to Dick recently, but he wouldn't tell me what. Would you tell me what happened, because I know Dick won't"

Bruce sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Wally, I trust you, to an extent, that's why I let you know our identities, and date Dick."

He got up and walked to the front of the desk.

"I'm going to trust you to show Dick that you still care for him. I'm also going to trust you with what happened, and you _will_ keep it a secret. The only reason I'm telling you this is because I think you can help. Do you understand"

Wally nodded, " yes sir, I understand" he said. Whatever was bothering Dick he wanted to fix it, that was his goal right now.

Bruce sighed again

"alright…Dick…Robin, more like, was…"

He drifted off. That word, there it was again, he hated using it when referring to the smaller boy. It just seemed so…wrong. Bruce continued.

"Joker, captured, tortured and…raped, Robin. He says that he shouldn't be affected by it, but I know he is. I saw it, Wally, and what Joker did to him was blood curdling"

Wally was wide eyed. He couldn't believe it. Robin was raped by the Joker, it was such a sick thing for Joker to do to the young boy. Wally almost wanted to kill the man for doing this to his little bird. He continued to listed as Bruce described what had happened to allow Robin to get caught. He ended with when Joker stared on Robin.

"last night, when we were eating dinner, Dick mentioned the incident, when I asked him what he really felt about it, he yelled at me for a moment…then he said that he was… disgusting."

Wally's shock deepened 'how could he think so low of himself' he thought

"why would he ever think that of himself!"

Wally blurted out, suddenly. Bruce took a deep breath.

"to be honest, Wally, I think it has something to do with you"

Wally was taken aback by this statement; Bruce continued.

"Dick really cares for you, it seems that he thinks what Jokers done to him, has left him dirty, disgusting, in a sense and probably thinks that you won't accept him after what was done to him, after he was"

He cleared his throat, it was uncomfortable to talk about.

After being…touched, by the man…he's afraid of what you'll think of him"

Wally's eyes widened again.

"I would never think he was disgusting, I love him!"

He unintentionally yelled the last part. He instantly covered his mouth. Bruce walked over, and stood right in front of the young speedster.

"I trust you to show him that…you should do it soon, that's why you came to this place isn't it?"

Wally franticly nodded, then ran off. In all that talk about Dick, he'd almost forgotten that he was the whole reason for his being here.

He stopped in front of the boys door. He collected himself, putting on a calm face, acting natural, before knocking on the wood door. He heard a little surprised yelp from inside.

"uhh" a shaky, voice started "Just a minute!" Dick yelled through the door. There was a lot of rummaging coming from within the room, Wally opened the door, without being invited, and entered the room. The first thing he noticed was that Dick wasn't there. A loud crash came from the bathroom. The older boy rushed towards the sound to see Dick kneeling on the floor. He had a wash cloth in his hand, and was trying to wipe up something from the floor. Drawers, shampoo bottles, and a few other bathroom items lay sprawling on the floor. The shower curtain, along with the curtain hanger, rested in the bathtub.

Dick looked up at the speedster with sad eyes. Tears ran silently from them; he looked back at the red stained towel and bloody floor.

"I'm sorry"

He whispers in a hoarse whisper. The small boy starts to shake 'he's mad at me' he thought 'he's mad that I didn't tell him. He's mad that I do this to myself…please don't hate me Wally' he pleaded in his head. Wally kneeled down next to the thin, pale boy. He gently took his bloodied wrist, and started cleaning the injury. He then searched the floor for gauze and medical tape. Carefully, and gently, Wally cleaned and covered the recent cuts. Dick cringed a little when Wally poured the disinfectant alcohol on.

"I'm sorry"

Said the boy again; his voice tired and teary.

"please, don't be mad"

Wally kissed the boy on the cheek.

"Dick, I'm not mad"

He said softly; not trying to upset the younger boy further.

"I'm sad, that you would do this to yourself, and disappointed that you turned to this instead of seeking help, but I am anything but mad"

Dick started to cry more. 'he's not mad?' he questioned himself 'but I deceived him, put on a fake smile everyday…all I want is his approval, now what do I do?' Wally took the shaking boy into a hug, then picked him up and brought him to the bedroom. He laid down on the bed, and let Dick cuddle into his chest, and wet his shirt with tears.

The crying stopped after a little wile. Wally had his arm wrapped around Dicks shoulders; his hand played with his hair.

"I'm sorry"

Said Dick, for the third time.

"what are you apologizing for?"

"being such a problem, being so weak, being such a cry baby, ignorant, ugly, disgusting"

His voice got more intense with every insult he threw at himself. He just started throwing out the worst word about himself. The list continued until Wally stopped him from hurting his self esteem any further.

"hey, hey! I do not want to hear you talking like that. You are not a problem, just troubled, and you're only human we can only do so much…don't even let me hear you call yourself ugly, you're gorgeous, and everything else you've said think the opposite"

"but the opposite is a lie"

"Dick"

He didn't react to his name being called.

"Dick look at me…I don't want you talking about yourself that way, ever, understand, you're just hurting yourself"

Dick relaxed for a moment.

"sorry"

He said softly, before closing his eyes, and falling asleep. 'I shouldn't fall asleep on him' he thought 'I shouldn't even be touching him, he shouldn't be touching me!' he lets out a sigh 'what if he knew?' with that thought he fell asleep against the person he's most afraid of.

Sorry if it's short, hoped you liked it though. I start school tomorrow (9/4/12) hurray (add in fake enthusiasm) well, R&R please, if you don't mind. J


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven, I hope you enjoy this one. I , again, wrote half of it on paper. This time I was at school, in orchestra. Since it's the first couple of days we don't really do much, the teacher just kind of talks. I decided it was a good time to start writing a chapter, so here it is

Enjoy

Disclaimer: nice word they came up with there isn't it, I don't own anything

Warnings: not much, I don't think, if there's something I should warn about tell me

* * *

Dick woke up. He was still snuggled up against Wally. He checked the time. 'Midnight" he whispered to himself in a hoarse, tired voice. Dick looked up at the other sleeping boy. He was snoring, lightly. The ebony haired boy mentally slapped himself. 'I can't believe that I fell asleep at three in the afternoon' he thought, re-adjusting himself against the ginger. 'why didn't he leave' thought the younger boy 'he could have left when I fell asleep.

Wally had actually thought about leaving. He had decided against it for two reasons. He had noticed the darkness around Dicks eyes, and figured he hadn't gotten much sleep. Wally worried that getting up, or moving, would disturb the distraught boys peaceful slumber. The second reason was because he feared that if he left, Dick would wake up and start hurting himself again. Both of those things considered, he fell asleep, but it was a wile after Dick had. At one point Bruce came to check on Dick. Wally just nodded toward the sleeping Dick and Bruce left them alone.

Instead of resisting Wally's presence Dick just went back to sleep. Both boys woke up at about six in the morning. Alfred was knocking at the door, calling them for Breakfast. The two lazily crawled out of the bed. Wally's arm was asleep from Dick laying on it all night.

They made their way down to the dining room table where three plates were set, full of food. Potatoes, eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit, many other breakfast foods set on plates around the table for people to pick as they please.

"I took the liberty of making extra, master Wallace, I hear you have quite an appetite"

"thanks, Alfey, it all looks great"

Dick smiled a little

"it's Alfred"

He started

"what would you expect"

Everyone sat down at the table and started "digging in" as one might say. Dick, as he's done for the last week, started to push the food around his plate. The fork never made it to his mouth once.

Wally, who was sitting next to the smaller boy, grew concerned. He took Dicks hand into his own.

"Dick, please eat something"

He pleaded in a whisper. He didn't want to ask if something was wrong; he already knew that something was wrong. He hoped, though, that the problem didn't extend into another issue he's having.

"I am eating"

He replies quietly

"no, you're not, you've just been pushing the food around the plate for the last twenty minutes. How much have you eaten in the last week?"

Questioned Wally. Dick just shrugged, and continued to push around the food.

"you. Need. To. Eat something"

Commanded Wally, squeezing Dicks hand a little.

"I have eaten things"

"really? When, because I haven't seen you eat anything for a wile"

"How would you know! What are you, my stalker or something. FYI I have eaten in the last week"

Dick went back to pushing his food around. Wally looked to Bruce, who had been listening, to see if what the boy is saying was true. Bruce simply shook his head, no words between them.

Wally sighed quietly, and took his hand away from Dicks.

They finished breakfast; Bruce retreated to his study. Wally claimed that he had to got to the bathroom. Really, though, he just needed to have another conversation with Bruce.

"can't you see that there's something wrong here Bruce"

He whispered to the older man as they made their way down the hallway.

"I realize that Dick is depressed and emotionally distraught right now"

He answered flatly, not even looking at Wally.

"are you kidding me!"

Wally screeched

"you know your name really suits you; you're _blinder_ then a bat. The kid has Anorexia!"

"I don't believe that it is your place to diagnose such things. You certainly aren't a professional, and I doubt you know enough about the disorder to look at someone and determine weather they have it or not. I doubt you'll ever be able to"

As they entered Bruce's study Wally continued to ramble on.

"All he does is push the food around on his plate. How long has it been since he actually at everything that was on his plate. More then just tiny little bights, and how long does he work out for now, ten, twelve hours. Really man, do you pay any attention to these things, he's your son for goodness sakes"

Bruce turned to him

"first off, he's my ward, not my son. Second , you're right he could have an eating disorder, and that disorder may be anorexia, but it's not a sure thing. Third, one year, and a lot more training then he used to."

Wally was gaped. 'A year' he thought 'an entire year, this has been going on. I can only imagen how long he's been cutting. Oh god, he's only thirteen'

"a whole year!"

Wally blurted out

"and you never suspected that there might be something wrong. He needs help!"

"I'm getting his a therapist soon"

"oh yeah, and how many times have you tried that"

"many, and they did help him to get over his parents death. In the last year, though, he won't open up to anyone"

"then try something else"

"like what? It's obvious that he won't talk to me, and I don't just want to dump him in a rehab center and forget about him. If you are so insistent upon helping him, then I suggest you do it; instead of complaining to me every five seconds"

Wally had been backed out of the room. The door slammed in his face. He let out an irritated sigh.

"you know for the worlds greatest detective, you sure are clueless!"

He yelled through the door, before retreating to Dicks room. He entered without knocking. Dickwas laying on his bed, staring at his bandaged wrists.

"Bruce is going to notice these"

He said

"I wouldn't be surprised if he already has"

Wally sat on the bed

"Maybe it's for the better, if he does find out"

"No!"

Dick said quickly

"no, he can't know, he'll be mad"

"you're wrong, Dick, he really wants to help you. You're traumatized, you-"

Wally stopped himself. He wasn't supposed to know about the situation with Joker in the first place. Saying something about it probably wouldn't be the best in this situation. Dick looked at him.

"what were you about to say?"

He asked. Wally became nervous.

"nothing, just how, you know, being Robin could have traumatized you in some way. I mean the things that happen when you do this sort of thing-"

Wally mentally slapped himself 'really Wally' he thought 'the "things that happen" way to make him feel better'

Dick started to curl up into a ball; obviously, he was uncomfortable with those "things that happen"

"uh, yeah"

He started

"they can be kind of traumatizing…some things more then others"

Wally placed his hand on the boys side, gently

"I'm going to help you"

He said

"this needs to stop, all of it; the cutting, not eating, and withdrawal. You're destroying yourself"

"I'm fine, Wally"

"no, what you are, is in denial"

"no I'm fine. I'm sure that you're just thinking of sending me off to some waiting room for some therapist so that I can talk about my feelings. Yeah, sure, as if that helps"

"it does, but I won't make you do something that you're not comfortable with"

"well I'm not comfortable with talking about my…uh…problems, with a stranger"

"you don't have to talk to a stranger. You could talk to Black Canary, or me. We're all here for you Dick. You have to tell Bruce about all of this, though, or it'll be harder for you to get help"

"No! I won't tell him!"

"why not?"

"I already told you why not…if you haven't noticed, he's not the most "caring" person"

"he took you in when your parents died, when no one else would. It's obvious that he care about you. We need to tell him that you're having trouble with your feelings. With the stress"

"you can't tell him! I can't tell him! He doesn't need to know. I don't care how "caring" you think he is"

"I'm not going to tell him. I would if it was my secret to tell, but it isn't. If worst comes to worst, though then I'm telling him"

"No, Wally, promise me you won't tell him"

"I'm not going to make a promise like that"

Dick jumped out of his laying position, and grabbed hold of Wally's arm

"Please, Wally"

He pleaded. Wally put his arm around the boy and pulled him into his chest.

"I wont tell him unless I have to; if things go too far"

Dick shook his head into his chest.

"you can't, you can't, Wally. He doesn't need to know. You won't tell him, ever!"

Wally sighed

"Fine, but I can't make any promises"

* * *

After a little wile of Wally hugging Dick, he had to go home.

On his way home he could only think of one thing…Dick

'what happens…if worst comes to worst'

* * *

Chapter seven, finally, this took me two days to write and three days to type. Dang you school. if it's a little short. Whatever, I've been writing my stories during class, secretly, the teachers don't notice very much apparently. Oh well, I think that next chapter might be the last, but I'm not sure. Then there's going to be a sequel to this called "not Quite on" it'll be rated M and go more into Dick and Wally's relationship with him trying to get over all this stuff. Alright well, hope you enjoyed this chapter. R&R please! thanks


	8. Chapter 8

Paste your do

Chapter eight everyone, and I was wrong I think that this is the second last one, but don't trust anything that I say I sometimes get lost in the story, the story will end, but I think that it might have ten chapters, or nine, not quite sure still trying to think up a good ending…I totally just thought of a good ending wile typing this note, cool, should be done by next chapter.

Now that my rambling episode has subsided…on with the show!

No warnings, well, Dick is naked but it's not sexual, like, at all

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and you know it! Now stop mocking me, word with obvious meaning!

* * *

A few hours after Wally went home Dick decided to take a shower.

He removed his shirt on the way to the bathroom after all the articles of clothing had been discarded he climbed into the running warm water.

After a few minutes he suddenly found himself shaking, from his almost silent sobs, as he sat in the corner of the shower, hugging his knees to his chest as the water ran down his back and side. He looked at his hands and legs and torso, and hated it. He hated every inch of his, self proclaimed, disgusting body. He could hardly look at himself . 'how can I let Wally touch me…let him feel my ruined skin, put his arm around my stupid fat waist' Dick crossed his arms so that his hands grabbed the opposite shoulder. He continued to cry.

Lost in his tears he didn't notice how exhausted he was. He cried, almost silently, for a little wile. He didn't even notice when the bathroom door opened, and he was lifted, easily, from the shower floor.

Bruce had gone to check on Dick twice within the last two hours, both times he found Dick crying in the shower. He'd left him alone, but at the second hour, Bruce decided that the small boy probably wasn't going to move any time soon.

He gently lifted the shaking boy from the shower floor. He hated seeing him like this. It just shows how fragile and human the small boy is. Dick doesn't like to be seen as weak, and Bruce doesn't like to acknowledge him as such. Bruce sighs 'Wally's right' he thought, not ever thinking he'd say that ' I am blinder then a bat' he looks down at Dick again. The boy is small, thin, thinner then he used to be. His ribs were showing a little, and his arms were thinner then normal. Bruce could feel his shoulder blades, clearly. His whole body seemed to be lacking in fat, and in some places, muscle, from the lack of food that he's been taking in, within that past year.

Dick cries into the mans chest, silently, seeming not to realize that he's in Bruce's arms. He lays a small towel over the weeping boy, and carries him into the bedroom. Dicks hands lay still, on top of the towel covering him.

As Bruce was about to lay him down he noticed something, that he's surprised he hadn't noticed before. Bandages pealed off of Dicks arms. One's that were not from the Joker incident. The water had seeped in and disconnected the white medical tape from his skin. Bruce removed the bandages, to reveal a series of cuts that almost made it to his elbow.

Bruce sighed. 'how could I let this happen' he thought 'how could I not see the signs, see how all of this is affecting him' Bruce was ashamed of himself, letting this happen to the little bird, all of this, from the stress, to the Joker incident, it was all his fault.

Bruce decided that taking Dick off the team was probably one of the beat decisions he's made for the young boys life. He also realized, though, that it was probably backfiring.

Dick wasn't fit to go on missions right now. He probably won't be for a little wile. Denying him the right to be with his friends and go on missions was probably eating the boy up inside. Making him think wrongly about the reasons of why he was taken away from the team. Making him think that it's unfair. Those thoughts are only deepening his depression.

Bruce laid the boy down on the bed, removed his old bandages and wrapped the semi fresh cuts in new ones; before he laid the blanket over the sleeping boy and left the room.

Dick wasn't going to go to school tomorrow.

* * *

Dick woke up, he felt kind of sick. Suddenly he realized that he had no clothes on and went to get dressed. He was pushed down by a gloved hand.

"master Bruce has requested that you rest today, master Dick"

Said Alfred.

"he sent me to check on you"

Dick eased back into the bed. He sneaked a peak at his wrists, and went wide eyed 'oh no' he thought staring at the fresh, dry , bandages that wrapped his arms. Trying to hide his panic, he looked at Alfred.

"really?"

He said as naturally as he could

"why?"

"he said something about giving you a day to rest, and relieve your stress with rest. He made it very clear to relieve your stress with rest, he didn't want you doing anything else today. The only other thing he made sure I make you do is eat something"

"oh, thanks Alfred, but can I, um, put some clothes on"

Dick laughed lightly as he said it. The butler gestured neatly folded pairs of pajamas laying on the end of the bed.

"Bruce bought you several pairs of pajamas. I don't really know why, you already own pajamas, many might I ad"

Dick laughed again.

"I'll leave so that you may change, Master Dick"

Dick quickly grabbed one of the pairs of pajamas and slipped it on, wondering instantly why he choose that one and why Bruce bought it.

It was a night gown, a male night gown to make it even more embarrassing. It went a little past his knees and was comfortable. He didn't feel like putting on another pair of pajamas so he just left it.

Dick got up and put on a pair of underwear. Then slowly laid back in the bed.

Just as Bruce ordered Alfred made sure that Dick spent the day resting, despite his protests.

Dick wanted to go train in the gym. Alfred wouldn't let him.

At one point Dick became restless and stared to do flips and things through his room. Alfred herd the ruckus and attempted to usher the boy back to bed, to no prevail.

"Master Bruce specifically stated that you must stay in bed and rest"

He said fallowing the boy as he flipped off the window sill and over his bed. Alfred noticed that he looked tired, exhausted, but the boy simply would not stop his movement. Alfred decide to try something else that he knows probably wont work.

"aren't you getting hungry, Master Dick, it's almost time for lunch."

"nope"

Answered the boy simply as he did a front hand spring off of his desk. Dick actually wasn't allowed to run around and flip around his room like this, but he wanted to get in some exercise so he broke the rule. The room was a wide open space with just a bed and a desk occupying it, the ceilings were pretty high and the room is big and flat. Dick thought 'what better place to move when you're locked in your room all day.'

After a little wile Alfred gave up on trying to stop the boy, and went to see if Bruce was home.

* * *

Alfred knocked then entered Bruce's study. Bruce sat at his desk doing work.

"you know"

Started Alfred

"locking him in his room all day isn't going to help anything"

Bruce sighed.

"he's only gotten 18 hours of sleep in the last three weeks. I was intending for him to sleep. Obviously, it didn't work"

"well he's a ball of energy right now"

"you know that's not what it. He just has the need to work out constantly. Maybe Wally's right, maybe he does have an eating disorder"

"i hate to say this, Master Bruce, but i believe that he does"

"what should I do, Alfred. The cutting, lack of food, he's destroying himself and I don't know what to do about it"

"a therapist, master Bruce, despite Dicks protests, they do work…I believe, though, that Master Dick just has a hard time talking to strangers about his problems. He can't reveal his identity as Robin, and so he can't get the full help he needs"

"who would you suggest"

"you've said before that Black Canary has had good results when talking to the team"

"yes, but I don't know if she can handle something this…big, this serious"

"Master Bruce…everything she talks to them about is serious, and it doesn't hurt to try"

Bruce sighed again

"fine, I'll see if she can talk to him…I'll call her right now"

"good…now I'm going to do see if I can persuade Dick into eating lunch today"

"oh, and, Alfred, did you take all the sharp objects out of his room like I said"

"ye, I have, I even searched for hidden knives and such, he had quite a few"

Bruce sighed as Alfred left.

After Bruce contacted Black Canary he made his way to Dicks room. He entered right as Alfred had given up o making Dick eat Lunch.

"I can't get him to stop, Master Bruce

Said Alfred, gesturing the flipping boy.

"Dick"

Said Bruce sternly. The boy stopped his flipping, and landed in front of Bruce.

"you are going to rest, in bed. You're not allowed to do strenuous activity of exercise today. Also, you are going to eat lunch, no objections"

Bruce ordered, sternly. Dick huffed."

"what am I, three years old?"

He said crossing his arms and pouting.

"well you certainly look like it, now get in bed

Dick huffed again, and went to lay down in his oversized bed. Bruce walked over and sat o the edge of the bed.

"Alfred's going to bring you lunch, and you're going to eat it…all of it"

"an what if I don't"

"then I'm going to sit here until you do weather you like it or not"

"I thought that I wasn't supposed to eat in my room?"

"I'm making an acceptation"

A few minutes later Alfred entered the room, lunch set neatly on a platter. He set a small table like thing in front of Dick, who still laid in bed, and placed the plated of food on it.

Dick sunk back into his bed. Sitting on the table in front of him is a simple turkey sandwitch with a glass of tea and a glass of water. Bruce crossed his arms, waiting for Dick to start eating.

"well?"

He said

"go on, eat it"

"I'm not hungry"

"your stomach has growled several times since I came in here"

"so, that doesn't mean anything"

"Just eat the sandwich"

Dick hesitantly picked up a piece of the sandwich; it had been cut into fours. Slowly, he took a bight chewed, and almost didn't swallow. It was a slow process, but eventually he finished the one fourth

"can I be done now"

He asked

"no, you have to eat the entire thing, not just one or two fourths, and stop moving your leg"

Dick stopped shaking his leg under the covers.

It took about an hour but, eventually, Dick made it through three thirds of the sandwich.

"do I have to eat the last one"

"yes"

Dick groaned

"come on Dick, you're almost done"

"why are you making me do this"

"because the only thing you've eaten this week is two carrots, and you've lost a significant amount of weight"

"I have not, I can't seem to loose weight to make me thinner"

"How much do you weigh?"

Dick shrugged. Bruce got off the bed, and carefully removed the table from in front of Dick.

"we're going to find out then"

Dick got out of bed and fallowed Bruce into the bathroom. Bruce placed the stool right in the middle of the room, and told Dick to get on it.

"this is going to be a blind weight, so do not look at the number, step on backwards"

Dick did as he was told, and stepped on the scale backwards, he was afraid of what the number might be. When Bruce saw the number, he wasn't very surprised, just…disappointed.

"you can get off now"

Dick stepped off and looked at the man

"what was it?"

"I'm not telling you"

"why not?"

"until you get better I'm not telling you…I'm going to be monitoring your eating, and set some rules for when you eat"

"can't I just eat on my own?"

"apparently not…how much did you weigh last year?"

"I don't' know, 150 give or take"

Bruce sighed again.

"alright…you still haven't finished that sandwich, don't think I forgot about it, you also need to drink both of the liquids."

it took about another half hour, but Dick finished the last piece of the sandwich, and the two Drinks. Alfred came in an took it all away. Bruce stayed seated on the edge of the bed.

"well, I'm done"

Said Dick

"you can go now"

Dick was on the verge of tears

"I'm not leaving, we need to talk"

"about?"

" some problems you've been having. I'm going to put you on a strict eating schedule. You're not allowed to go to the bathroom After or during meals. You also won't be allowed to leave the dining room until you've finished everything on your plate"

"what's with all of these ridicules rules you're suddenly throwing at me"

"you need to start eating again. On Thursdays you're going to therapy sessions with Black Canary, she's agreed to help with whatever's bothering you"

"there's _nothing _wrong, there's nothing bothering me"

There obviously is, seeing as there are cuts on your wrists and no food going down your esophagus"  
"oh yeah…I have a question, what if I really have to go to the bathroom during or after the meal"

"don't change the subject"

"I'm not, it's one of the ridicules rules which are part of the subject, so I am not changing the subject."

"fine, if you really have to go to the bathroom, then you can go to the bathroom, but I'm standing outside the door"

"why! That's even more ridicules the other rules"

"I made the other rules to protect your health, along with me standing outside the door"

"why do you have to stand outside the door?"

"I want to make sure that your not throwing up your food"

Dick was shocked, he could hardly believe that Bruce would think he'd do something like that."

"why would I do that?"

"we're done with this part of the conversation…we need to talk about those cuts on your wrist"

Dicks eyes widened for a moment, but then they drooped to look at the blanket that he was twisting, and pulling in his hands.

"I don't want to talk about that, you weren't even supposed to know"

"why not, you know I could have helped you, I'm not some cold blooded animal you know"

"well you sure act like one"

Bruce got off the bed.

"if you don't want to talk about that right now, it's fine, but don't think we won't talk about it"

As Bruce was about to exit, Dick stopped him.

"can…Wally come over today, I know I'm supposed to be resting but, it would be nice to have him here"

Bruce sighed

"fine, Wally can come over, but promise me you'll rest before he gets here"

"uh, fine, sure"

When Bruce's footsteps disappeared down the hallway, Dick let out a breath. He got off of the bed and went into the bathroom, he didn't stop to look in the mirror like he usually did, he just went strait for the relief he had been waiting for since that morning.

He searched his bathroom high and low, looking for all of the sharp objects, knives, razors, that he kept hidden. He couldn't find a single one. 'where did they go?' he asked himself, then suddenly realized that Bruce had probably told Alfred to search and remove all sharp items from Dicks room.

'might a swell give me a binky and stick me in a crib'

He thought continuing his search into the bedroom 'there has to be something sharp, somewhere' Dick was getting antsy, he wanted, needed, that cut that he wasn't getting at the moment.

Finally Dick gave up on his search, he pinched, and twisted a spot on his wrist until it turned purple, it gave him what he wanted but it just wasn't the same, he'd have to find a way to get a sharp object into his room and hide it from Bruce, the anxiety was killing him.

Gah, this took me, like for days to finish, and I feel like it's not very good at all, to be honest I totally thought that this was going to be a short chapter, man was I wrong, oh well hoped you liked it, I have no idea how this turned into an eating disorder story, sorry 'bout that, I'll try to get it more on track with the cutting, that's what this story is supposed to be about, that and his whole thing with how Dick doesn't want Wally to know about the Joker incident, like I said I'm pretty sure that the next is last, alright enough of my talk R&R please! Thanks! J

cument here...


	9. Chapter 9

Last chapter of off, I'll be taking a little brake before the sequel,

* * *

Wally arrived a bit late to the Wayne manor, he had been on a mission with Flash when Bruce called. After the mission, though he quickly made his way to Wayne Manor.

At the door he was greeted by Alfred, as usual, who told him that Bruce wanted to talk to him before he went up to see Dick.

Wally entered Bruce's study, clueless as to what the man wanted to talk to him about. It was usually Wally who wanted to speak with Bruce, not the other way around.

"Hey Bruce, Alfred said you wanted to see me"

Wally acted as casual as possible. Bruce got up from his desk and walk around to meet the young speedster. He sighed and placed his fingers to his forehead.

"Wally, did you know Dick was…cutting himself"

Wally's eyes widened 'Bruce knows? How did he find out? There's no way Dick told him,' the boy had made it very clear that he didn't want Bruce to even have the slightest hint about the "bad habit" of his. Wally lowered his head

"yeah…I knew"

Wall mumbled. Bruce sighed

"why didn't you tell me?"

"Dick begged me, he would have been devastated if I had told you, I would have lost his trust. I was going to tell you, if things got worse. I swear that I wanted, was going to tell you, but, he just looked so devastated and…scared"

Bruce could understand the reasoning, but he still didn't like it, Wally said something else, though, that caught his ears.

"I swore on my life that I was going to help him with this"

"…are you?"

"if he'll let me in a little more I might be able to help him a lot better, but, he's become so distant"

"does he know you know about the Joker incident?"

"no, I kind of want to wait until he's ready to tell me about it, then maybe I'll tell him that I already knew"

"that'd be a good way to show him that it never mattered to you"

Inquired Bruce. Wally nodded.

"yeah, but I'm afraid he'll never tell me"

Wally looked at the older man

"is that it?"

He asked

"anything else you want to talk about"

"Dick hasn't been eating"

"I've noticed"

"he weighs 84 pounds, Wally. He's lost almost 66 pounds in the last year, and he's not going to loose any more"

"what are you doing about it?"

"I have him on an eating schedule, and I'm going to make sure he doesn't throw up what he's eaten. I need your help with this, though, because as you may notice, he isn't always here, and I can't always be with him"

"so you want me to monitor that he eats as well, okay, like, when he's at the mountain or when we're out or something, right?"

"yes"

There was a short awkward silence between them

"well, if there's nothing else then I'm going to go see Dick"

With that Wally rushed away to Dicks room.

Dick was laying on the bed, trying to go to sleep, but he just couldn't get his body to relax. He wanted to get up and exercise or something, anything to work off that sandwich he had eaten.

Wall entered the room, almost silently, but Dick had noticed him. He perked up a bit at the sudden aperance of his boyfriend.

"hey Dick, heard you weren't doin' too good"

Dick smiled as Wally approached the bed, and sat down on the edge of it. Dick shrugged

"I'm fine, just board and upset"

"that doesn't sound so good"

Dick laid back on the bed and covered his face with his hands

"he knows"

He mumbled into his palms. Wally, sighed,

"about the cutting? Yeah, he told me"

Dick looked up at him

"when did he do that?"

"right when I arrived, pretty much. He asked if I had known. I told him the truth"

"Was he mad at you; for not telling him"

" he seemed to understand my reason for not telling him, but he still didn't seem too happy about it"

"oh"

Dick lowered himself back into the bed, with a sigh. Wally noticed something that made him smile in amusement.

"are you wearing a nightgown?"

He asked, amusement spreading across his face. Dicks cheeks became pink in embarrassment, he crunched himself up a little, bringing his knees closer to his chest and the knuckle on his index finger to his mouth.

"maybe"

He mumbled, leaning his head more into the soft pillow. Wally couldn't help but notice how adorable the young boy looked right then. His eyes averting from Wally's, the redness of his cheeks, his small feet fumbling with each other as he pulled his knees up. Where Wally saw beauty, he couldn't help but think 'what does he see?'

Wally believes that he already knows the answer to that question, and it is not a satisfactory one. Wally smiled at the small boy, he wouldn't look at Wally, his eyes lay, permanently, on the pillow. This had been going on for a wile now. Wally would be with him, but Dick would never lock eyes with Wally, sometimes the only thing he gave was a glance towards the red-head. Wally assumed that was because he was ashamed with himself and didn't think that he deserved to look at him. Of course that wasn't true, not to Wally.

"you know you're adorable, right?"

Asked Wally, amused grin, still etched on his face. Dick frowned a little, his cheeks became pinker

"no I'm not, I look horrible"

Wall put on a stern look

"hey, what did I tell you about putting yourself down like that?"

"well, it's not like I can say anything else"

"you can say how great you are, which you are, by the way, there are a hundred other things you can say about yourself that aren't insults"

"that doesn't mean any of them are going to be true"

Wally sighed, it was obvious that the boy felt extremely low about himself. Wally would do anything, to let the boy see how great he is.

Right now Dick felt guilty, 'should I tell him' he thought 'I don't want him to be with someone as disgusting as me, he may never love me after this…but…I can't keep him in the dark forever'

"Wally"

He says quietly

"yes"

"umm"

His voice was shaky with tears

"I-I need to tell you something"

"what is it?"

Dick took a deep breath

"a-about three weeks ago, I had a run in with Joker, he captured me wile I was out on patrol"

He took in a shaky breath at the memory. Within the past week he had begun to gain more recollection of what the man had actually done to him. He didn't loose his virginity…but he almost did.

He continued

"he, um tortured me, as usual, but then he…began to um…touch me…inappropriately…I was-I was raped, by him"

By now the tears had started to fall as he remembered the feeling, and the words spoken to him by that crazy man. He turned away from Wally, fearing his rejection.

"please don't hate me"

He pleaded quietly, covering his eyes with his palm, as he began to cry, he would die for something sharp right now, something to help him relax, just a few cuts and he'd be fine…or at least that's what he thinks.

Wally was surprised that Dick had told him so soon, but he imagined that living with that sort of secret was tearing him up inside. Quickly, the speedster pulled the sobbing boy into a tight embrace, letting the younger boys head rest on his chest as his small hands took hold of the front of his shirt

"I already knew"

"said Wally quietly, into his black hair. Dick looked up at him

"you-you did?…why didn't you say anything?"

"I wanted you to tell me when you were ready"

He held the younger boy tighter

"and it never mattered, I would never let you go, I could never hate you, no matter what"

Dick almost smiled

"thank you"

He said in a whisper

"I'm going to help you Dick, with everything, help you to like yourself again, help you to stop cutting, you're not alone in this battle"

For the moment, and probably only this moment among many, Dick felt content, he felt almost happy, but what he really wanted, the moment Wally let him got…was a razor blade.

* * *

The End for now, there's going to be a sequel, but , sorry that this chapter is too fast and kind of short, but I kind of just wanted to get it done. The next one is called "Not Quite On"

And it's rated M because I'm paranoid about the mild sex scenes within it, really there almost nothing, but I'm still paranoid about it, so check it out when it gets up, probably in a few weeks, till then check out my other story "this means War" its humor, alright, R&R please thank you very much


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